Part two

My last post deliberated the controversy over Eminem and Rihanna’s hit “Love The Way You Lie”… This post will conclude my final thoughts of the song and share my personal experience.

Frist off: the issue of domestic and gendered violence is very dear to me. I will NEVER praise either artist for bringing awareness to the issue as it was done in the tackiest way possible. Violence between partners is NEVER okay! Though I can recognize that individuals are sometimes placed in unavoidable situations where abuse seems only logical, it’s not! Both song and video forever haunt me as I have shamefully been on both sides of domestic violence.  I first handedly know what it’s like to be abused and abuse my significant other. Though I know nothing I say will legitimize my reasoning for becoming physical, I can look back at my experience and learn from my mistake. Point blank, Gendered Violence is a male issue solely because men perform it.

More research was put forth into the song and I started to collect the personal opinions and thoughts of fans/ listeners all over the world via blog sites. It didn’t surprise me that the majority of fans bluntly blamed both artists for perpetrating the problem of domestic violence. It was more apparent than ever that the video hyper sexualized and almost advocated violence in relationships. Both Rihanna and Eminem fought back with releasing statements saying the purpose of the song (and video) was to exemplify and bring awareness to gendered violence.

Unfortunately, Eminem and Rihanna did not have that effect to their listeners. The artists were continually ridiculed for improperly addressing the dangers and risk that comes behind domestic violence. As I stated before, violence in relationships between men and woman have never looked more appealing… thanks to the song and video.

To add fuel to the flame: A few months after “Love the way you Lie” hit and all time record sales, Rihanna and Eminem teamed up once again and released a part two. Perhaps the reasoning was for Rihanna to clear the record and properly address the issues gender violence… or so it seemed.  My initial reaction of the song made me applause Rihanna for sharing her full and honest perspective of the issue. She indicates through her lyrics that blaming the victim is problematic. Whether or not Rihanna wronged her partner she is still a victim, regardless.

“In this Tug of war you’ll always win, even when I’m right” – The lyrics initiate that gendered violence is a male issue because the abuse is inevitable. The male (masculine, or dominant figure) will always have the last say.

“Cause you feed me fables from your head, with violent words and empty threats. And it’s sick that all these battles are what keeps me satisfied” In this verse Rihanna is highlighting that she is nothing less of a victim of domestic violence while simultaneously admitting her problematic addiction with abuse.

Domestic Violence has never looked more glamorous

Eminem’s smash hit “Love The Way You Lie” featuring superstar: Rihanna addresses the issue of Domestic Violence… in the most inappropriate way possible. Though both artists have first handedly experienced such difficulties dealing with their own abuse in their relationships, it astonished me that they would create an expressive song with hyper sexualized lyrics. Most importantly, the music video displayed a very dark and narrow one-sided point of view towards the issue of domestic violence.  “In all, domestic violence has never looked more glamorous (in the media)” (Conte, 2011). Both song and music video included a series of incongruous metaphors gendered violence while simultaneously portraying such acts as “sexy”. As public relations major, this song poorly demonstrated the real dangers of domestic and gendered violence and instead “serves as a warning to the women who are beaten rather than the men who choose to beat them” (Lind, 2012).  

With Rihanna being a survivor from her relationship with Chris Brown, Rihanna has delegitimized her endurance with the following lyrics: “well that’s alright because I like the way it hurts”.  Additionally, these lyrics glorify domestic violence by representing that women “ask” to be beat.   Further, the Music video delivered that the violence between the two parties were equally at fault… The Director showed this by Megan Fox enacting violence to her partner. In theory, it leads the audience to believe that violence between men and women are comparable when in fact, that is not the reality.  This interpretation of violence between men and women being a two-way street is problematic because statistics reveal that men are far more likely to inflict moderate to serve physical injuries against their partner.

To summarize the video, it was a great attempt for Rihanna and Eminem to raise awareness of domestic violence and illustrate the cycle of intimate partner violence. However, both song and video perpetrated the problem (in a PR prospective). The music video was not only a misrepresentation on male violence against women; it also failed to show how to exit the cycle of intimate partner violence.  Instead, it alludes that such violence between partners is addictive and functional.   “Because pop culture has the ability to shift our understanding of what is “normal” or even accepted and/ or defining our norms” (Conte, 2011), the audience is almost forced to believe that domestic violence is no longer a “male issue” but instead a two-way street. The video was very powerful in a negative limelight and should not have received adoration and praise. As a Rihanna fan, I can’t help but to question her credibility when speaking on the issue of  gendered domestic violence.

Conte, K. (2011, August 06). Domestic violence has never looked like that [Online forum comment]. Retrieved from http://thestir.cafemom.com/entertainment/107648/Love_the_Way_You_Lie

Lind, R. (2012). Race/gender/class/media, 3.0. (3 ed., pp. 263-267). Old Tappan, NJ: Pearson.

Gendered Media

In recent headlines, Ashley Judd was ostracized for her puffy appearance on her new television show “Missing”. The self-proclaimed actress became a victim of gendered inequality due to the extensive amount of plastic surgery she allegedly had done (or lack of). It was then, that I grew sick with witnessing yet another female celebrity, being victimized of how a woman should look. I can’t help but to question the importance of Judd’s puffiness. What the hell is the big deal? While searching for the answer to my inquiry, I ran across Ashley Judd’s harsh response to the media.  Judd expressed her views on the media’s internalized sexism: “pointedly nasty, gendered, and misogynistic and embodies what all girls and women in our culture, to a greater or lesser degree, endure every day."

I cannot agree more with Judd’s comment regarding her take on gendered media. As I tried to find the answer to my original question, another inquiry was triggered… The media’s view of gender roles and the overall effects it has over women.

Advertisements, television shows, movies, and songs are just a few mediums in which media objectifies women. With all of the misrepresentations the media is responsible for, I have the biggest problem of how the media portrays women.  At first glance, it appears as if women have fallen off the media agenda.  However once I step into a local drug store, I am constantly reminded that women are not superior and instead dehumanized by their stereotypical generalizations and their limiting gendered roles.  By limiting gendered roles I mean the traditional:

Caregivers

Homemakers

 Nurturing

 Sensitive

Weak

Additionally, media depicts women by their physical appearance… Tall

 Thin

large breasted

incredibly beautiful

 naked

sexual

submissive

innocent

 Anything that falls outside of these “requirements”, are not viewed as “appealing”...  As a result, our perceptions are fucked up on how male and females gender roles should be presented.  as the media has been given the power to set gender roles thus objectifying women. With the amount of messages being sent to society on a daily basis, these types of twisted and demeaning deceptions of women affect both sexes. Beliefs about self worth, occupations, and bodies are distorted due to the artificial idealized body of women.